[17 Apr 2005|09:38pm] [ mood | prettty numb ] [ music | phish -"gin and juice" ] Me acting like an idiot!!!!Lexi and Kendal!! at atlantic wonder what we were doiing on a lifeguard station at night on the beach?!?!?hmmm.,HELL YES THESE SHOULD FREE IT HAHAHHA!!! i just that it was funny!!!             But yeah not a whole lot is goiing on here just been smoking a lot and doiing some other shit....im goiing to MSI this saturday wiht Kendal,Lexi and Josh god damm im sooo effing exctied!!!! il take pics and post them if u want to see haha !!!!! but yah school sucks but im doiing pretty good now cuz on the report cards i got 3 F's and shit soo yeah im trying to do good now wiht school and thats basically it lol....well this past weekend well i dont really remember it a whole lot cuz friday i went to lexis and we smoked at ehr house wiht Dan adn Brad and dan started like tripping or some shit like that....saturday me n lexi smoked during the day and then at night and brad and josh came over then kendal, jamie and some girl harmony rode their bikes and i smoked wiht them more soo i was pretty passes out and then today lexi came over and we smoked at my house and then went to see Fever Pitch wiht josh which SUXXED MAJORRRR ASSSSS!!!!!!!  cbut yeah soo thast basiclaly it and i felt like updating for no reason and im bored and yeah soo comment and leave some some good!!!! post comment

[14 Feb 2005|10:39pm] [ music | 311 "come original" ] SATURDAY NIGHT was AWESOME!!!!! Kendal getting soo wasted and me getting pretty wasted and lexi waste dbut then sobering up...wow we made freinds wiht people that were pretty cool and went to river btu then theier were all the little jappy ass girls theer but they left pretty early lol sunday we all had a prtetty good hangover lol but then did some things that made it more fun liek SUBLIMA AND MUMU if u know what i mean lol....adn then them paasssin out on my couch lol.... WOW THIS WEEKEND!!! TASTE OF CHAOS im excited cuz i THINK im going to go soo yeha lol.....hmm yeha well everythings been OK... WHY DO U WEAR THAT STUPID MAN SUIT!?!?! WHY DO U WEAR THAT STUPID MAN SUIT?!!? TAKE IT OFF?!?!? lol just felt like saying that lol....   ok well nothign new just same old shit lol....doing the same things and hacing some fun lol... ok well happy V-day and once again lara has no one but w/e i guess im used to it...   BITCH NIGGER!!!! hahahahah post comment

[27 Jan 2005|10:58pm] [ mood | BLAH BLAH FUCKING YEAH!!!!! ] [ music | A static lullaby "shooting star" ] So hmm things havent been going to great....almost got expelled from school...(ahh) long story but yeah i didnt soo yeah....    yeah soo i just kinda feel alone...no one that holds me in their arms so i feel safe  ....but anyways...i guess hidding it is what i do best...but i just feel like im lying to everyone whenever i smile or laugh.....but i do <3 all my freinds..Erin,alex,jamie,kendal,LEXI, kelsey i really do love u all!!!!        soo my moms b-day is sat..damm i have to get her something lol...but w.e i guess i will.... so jamie got me a ticket for TASTE OF CHAOS!!!! which i am sooo excited to go to!!!! i hope i dont get knocked in the head at this one too lol...but i dont care its effning worth it....      well i havent been talking to ryan lately and i guess i just miss talking to him...i reeally cant cuz i dont have a cell phone cuz of the bill and i cant call on my house phone it charges but m friends get free long distance shit so i might use theres i guess...          " i want to lay like this forever untill the sky falls down onto me"       well im glad tomorrow is friday i guess lol...but i might be meeting someone somewhere which im kinda nervous...im not going to explain but w/e.....         today i was talking to a friend and i knew he was doing things that were fucking him up and i was trying to help him....but he asks me..."lara do u want help" that had me thinking...from who i asked so he also tried to help me...thanks so much!!! but while i was trying to help and say i knwo all the things ur doing did the same to me blah blah balh it will get worse when i should also pay attention to myself too....but w/e i hide it....thats my thing.....          Hmm...school isnt goign to good im goign to try now but i dont knwo its like I DONT CARE!!!! and when someone doesnt care its like u cant help them and i want to care and do it....but its like my mind shut down it really did...soo im goign to try and do somethign to improve something.....              but w/e im gonna go and try and cheer up....<3<3<3 (is this emo enough for u LEXI) hahaha 3 comments|post comment

[27 Jan 2005|10:49pm] So hmm things havent been going to great....almost got expelled from school...(ahh) long story but yeah i didnt soo yeah....    yeah soo i just kinda feel alone...no one that holds me in their arms so i feel safe  ....but anyways...i guess hidding it is what i do best...but i just feel like im lying to everyone whenever i smile or laugh.....but i do <3 all my freinds..Erin,alex,jamie,kendal,LEXI, kelsey i really do love u all!!!!        soo my moms b-day is sat..damm i have to get her something lol...but w.e i guess i will.... so jamie got me a ticket for TASTE OF CHAOS!!!! which i am sooo excited to go to!!!! i hope i dont get knocked in the head at this one too lol...but i dont care its effning worth it....      well i havent been talking to ryan lately and i guess i just miss talking to him...i reeally cant cuz i dont have a cell phone cuz of the bill and i cant call on my house phone it charges but m friends get free long distance shit so i might use theres i guess... post comment

[17 Jan 2005|05:58pm] [ mood | angry ] [ music | infected mushroom-"tsunami" ] ok soo this weekend had to be the BEST WEEKEND EVER!!!! literally!! 1)My SURPRSIE B-day party at bostons on atlantic avenue 2)Tosha's b-day party to which was awesome the stretch hummer limo wiht a fog machine and laser lights!! 3)staying out all fucking night wiht lexi, kendal  and sleeping or trying to sleep in josh's car!!! then at 6 in the morning to IHOP !!!! WOOOO      ok soo all my presents were awesome but i still want an ALBERT EINSTEIN POSTER!!!! please help me find one!!!    toshas b-day was also amazing and almost everyone wasnt sober haha which was fun taking picstures adn then indoor speeding cars in dana beach (something like that)....       Ok soo the staying out all night thing was CRAZY!!!literally!!!.....first me kendal, lexi went wiht josh to his friends hosue and hung out there for a little and we shoudl have worn hats lol (cuz they were all wearing them) and then went to another kids house...(not goign to say what for but yeah lol) then back to the first kids house where the kid Joe or joey wanted to hook up wiht lexi soooooooo bad hhaha it was funny lol....and then went back to joshs schol North Broward and he went inside to sleep at his friends and me kendal, lexi slept in the back AHH it was funny but sooooo cold like it hurt cold really...and then sam came and got us from the school and we went to 7-eleven and we got out of the car adn him and kendal were in the car!!!!!! ahah if u know what i mena lol and then we went back and tried to sleep but couldnt only a little... then 6 in the morning we went to IHOP   it was sooooooo good...then to jamba juice and then to lexis house where we slept till 1 in the afternoon and then no i am here and i just found out that my phone bill was 700$  yeah can u belive that adn then now i dont have a phone and my mom said that i have to get that pay as u go thing where u buy ur minutes whichs suxs...   AND I almost had to gte stichtes in my forehead!!!!..b/c when i was walking into the movies i was liek bent over and kendal was holding the door open for me and i liek swung my head around and hit my head soo hard that it started bleeding!!! ahh it was insane but kendal, lexi adn kelsey were laughing soooooo hard it was funny at first but then it kinda hurt soo yeha...not im goign to have a FUCKING SCAR ON MY FOREHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 comments|post comment

[03 Jan 2005|12:10pm] [ mood | alone..... ] hey im im turkey right now and i just felt like updatıng......     well everything is going good i guess.....my b-day was yesterdaya and ıt was pretty sad like no one cares or anything...ahh i dont know but w\e.....i miss everyone soooo much and ı was to come home right now lol....someone send me a plane tıcket!!! lol<3 on new years nothıng really happend...ı was on tv though whıch was pretty cool thouhg lol...ı dıdnt get drunk or anythıng whıch suxed....and when they were countıng down ı saw so many people wıht therre boyfrıends\ gırlfrıends and ı realızed that ım just alone and want someone...ı lıke soomeone but ı dont know because of the way we have been talkıng lately so yeah...... I MISS U SOO MUCH ILEXA FOX & KENDAL DUNCAN,  ALEX, ERIN!!!!!!       3 comments|post comment

HAHA look at my mood thing...but i guess i am just scared.... [22 Dec 2004|08:17pm] [ mood | scared ] [ music | Squad- Five-O "bombs over broadway" ] ok soo hmm i went after school w/ lexi and kendal to go get my eyebrows waxed cuz i needed to haha JK then we went to the mall and we only stayed for about 20 minutes....god damm it was sooo crowded i hated it i hated it i hated it!!!!!!!!! damm u people that make it soo crowded lol......... omg im goign to turkey in 2 days im sooooo effin excited!!!!!! i know everyone will miss me but i know some people want me to leave....but w/e i am soo yeah.... ERIN IM SOO SRRY FOR LEAVING U I LOVE U SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! well tomorrow is the last day of exmas and i dont haev to study for the hardest one cuz no matter what im getting a C which is fine i guess lol (in biology)....... OMG kelsey got me the vans i wanted for soooooo long the black and white checkerd!!!! omg i love u kel soo much thnaks soo much!!!!!!!! and lexi might come over tomorrow and hang out maybe smoke....HAH PROBABLY!!!!! and then we might go to my frineds house which is like next to kendals soo it shoudl be fun......i guess lol...... omg a HUGE like moath liek the butterfly things flew in my hosue and i swear it was the size of my hand and when i saw it i started screaming soo loud that my neighbor heard me...haha...and then my mom left so i started throwinf her shoes from far away but then running in my room in case it flys at me ahah but it was soo scary i sawear im not lying it was fucking huge and it almost killllled me AHHH!!!!! but i guess u woudl be laughing at the things i was doing to kill it or make it fly away....... yeah and i dont really know what else to say...im bored and i want to have a lot of fun tomorrow before i leave lol...but knowing me i will have fun hahahah....ok bye bye xoxoxoxoxo <3 im also SOO SCARED About goign on the airplane i feel like im goign to die im soooo scared of airplanes and yes i have been on them since i was born but i dont care im sooo scared and i dont care what people say " they are the safest way to travel" fuck that shit no their not NOTHING FUCKING IS AHH im soo scared help me to not be........is that even possible...w/e :(         with tears so much as they ascend my face, burning my lips...is writing all my pain this hard...i cant say is wrintg this to you like a hundred thousand stabbing knifes...cut me open and hear me bleed...take the knife from my spin and slit my throat....   - by :ME...yeah i know it suxs but w/e i like writing lol.... 2 comments|post comment

[21 Dec 2004|02:50pm] [ mood | <-- im not tired haha ] [ music | circle takes the square -"comes with the fall" ] Hey hmm ok well today i went ridding after school and my exams r going pretty good i guess...shftever.....hmm well im goign to turkey on FRIDAY WOOO i know u all will misss me but yeah ill be back like Jan.13 im soo excited My B-day is jan.2 bitches so i expect a call adn present haha JK i wont be here haha!!!!! well lexi is supposed to be comming over on thursady btu she might come over on wednesday to soo yeah hmm....in a way i want to go soooo bad and get away from things/people here that are making my life HELL!!!!but then there are the people that i dont want to leave hah sounds like im moving there or something...but hmm im bored right now and i want to have a lot of fun on thursady before i leave soo hmm i dont know what me and lexi might do....if u wanna hang out and get major shifaced or antythign then jsut call me......or w/e hmm i got the new green day cd...adn its ok i guess i didnt listen to all of it yet but i got the OC Mix 2 and its awesome it has the thrills, the hillers, death cab for cutie and other bands soo hmm if u wanna copy then ask meh!@!@!@ ok well im not going to be like Miss. Ilexa Fox and write a whole god dam 15 paragrah thing or w.e haha ok wel mmmk bye!!!!! shit heads ahhaha   5 comments|post comment

[19 Dec 2004|12:40am] [ mood | creative ] I REALLLY LIKE RYAN <3!!!!! ive been talking to him for a while and i loved every second of it !!!!!!! 4 comments|post comment

[17 Dec 2004|09:43pm] [ mood | pessimistic ] [ music | Enya "Adiemus" ] ok soo hmm im goign to turkey for x-mas break  and im soo exicted....im excited to get away from here for a while and just think about whast really imporant to me........ for a while i have been really thinking about and am savign up money to just leave for a little.....dont knwo where but ill find somewhere to go.....so ive been fighting more and more and more wiht my mom and we never talk we really dont.....but its like when we do we fight so i just dont bother wiht her anymore......she really is goign to kill me one day......she yells at me for dumb shit and im sick of cyring i really am sick of it.....adn im soo glad to have peopel like LEXI i love u sooooo much and kendal , kesley i love u toooo!!!! thnkas for listening and talking to me....i will be here for u guys no matter what!!!!!!! ok soo yeah i knwo a lot of people just dont care what i just said but i dont care i jsut felt liek writing it..... ok soo hmm my grades or OK i mean what can u expect from me lol really?!?!?!?? soo hmm my b-day is Jan.2 and ill be in turkey but when i get back i might do something for it but i dunno...i guess its not that imporant or what can i do here for it!?!?!?!? well i like someone but i dont know...should i or shoudnt i!!!!! AHH being confused SUXS!!! so im sitting here right now my last weekend here and i shoudl be having fun i guess but some people were busy but i dont care i just feel like being alone now and maybe when i come back from turkey it will be different....i also miss my dad soo much i havent seen him since august and thats weird saying it from my mouth " i miss my dad" wow cuz of what has happened in the past but anyways.!!!! a while ago i talked to someone that really was special to me  on the phone and he just started screaming and saying things that knew would make me cry...but i guess he just didnt care....i dont want to see him when i go to turkey but he doesnt know im comming which is good in a way lol....... so my mom keeps saying to me UR GOING TO GO LIVE IN TURKEY CUZ UR NOT HAPPY HERE!!!!!!! u know what im fucking not......im not happy living wiht u...i love it here  and the only reason i am here is becasue of the peopel that actually understand me (lexi, kendal, kelsey, carrie,) ok soo my friend cody moved to morth carolina and i miss him cuz hes sooo funny and he was soo much fun to talk to ......but hes comming down on spring break....he better bitch hahah!!!!!! ok soo i want to go to the taste of chaos feb.19 in pompano and my freind kesley..her dad works for the city that can proably get us tickets cuz he has beofre whenever there are concerts there soo im exicted i hope we can go...and its not that far...someone said it was in miami and i knew i no one woudl drive me all the way there soo im glad its here in pompano!!!! im still bummed i couldnt go to Leftover Crack Dec.11th or nicoles party MY FUCKING MOM AT THE LAST MINUTE WAS LIKE O0O RIGHT LARA UR GROUNDED I FOROGT!!!!! and she knew i wanted to go since like september to leftover crack!!!!!! i guess these feelings.....these tears never go away......i just want someone to take me ...take me soo far....far away to neverland or anywhere so i can be wiht them and not feel anythgin as much.....   "cut me open and hear me bleed...take the knife from my spine and slit my throat...with tears so much as they ascend my face, burning my lips... is writing all my pain this hard...hard as a hundred thousand stabbing knives....right into my heart and through my eyes....." -Lara-   i love u lexi ur my BFFAEAEAEAE........Q   2 comments|post comment

[06 Dec 2004|07:50pm] [ mood | throat fucking hurts!!! ] [ music | Leftover crack-"stop the insanity" ] hey well i guess its been a while but umm nothing interesting has really happened....well actually yeah but im not gonna say all of it,... saturday Dec 4 was the BEST FUCKING DAY EVER lol kendal and lexi adn kelsey and i went to the bake sale and it was insane lol....i liked almost all the bands except for NFG, sevendust and i dont rewally liek korn and when korn sang that pink floyd song i thoguht they did a bad job adn i hated it lol... but and when i was watchhing taking bach sunday i got reallly hurt but not gonan say too long og a story....soo it was fun fun adn now i am fucking sick cuz of Miss Jamie Kaufmann thansk a lot lol umm sunday went to a soccer game which suxed cuz i hate soccer lol!!!!!!umm yeha dont knwo what else to say and i dont liek this whole journal thing really but ill kepp posting ok well leave sum sum!!! and this saturday Leftover Crack is playing and i reallllllllly wwanna go watch them but nicoles party is that same night and time DAMM big decision lol ok well bye u all SUX hah 4 comments|post comment

!%@^#&$*%*^%(^*()#**$&@(#!*@&#^*!&#^ [13 Nov 2004|10:58pm] [ mood | sigh... ] [ music | Leftover crack"born to die" ] ok well December 11th is when leftover crack is commin to west palm beach and i wanna go...and i also wanna go to the bake sale which i hope to get tickets for. friday i went to the mall wiht the FOX family which include Ilexa Fox, Joanne Fox, & Drew Fox lol ok then i went to the movies wiht serra and lexi and we saw umm Bridgete Jones Diary it was good but i wanted to see THE SAW again btu my sis wass to scared... today i went to go get my haircut then to sawgrass mall which was fun....and lexi and i took pic there and i wanted to put them on here but i didnt really knwo how soo if u wanna help me go right ahead..... not doin to well in school now SLACKING Off a little lol but i got my report card from the 2st nine weeks and i did awesome haha but yeah.... tomrrow(sunday) i might go to the beach wiht kednal, lexi and kelsey but i dont know i got cramps soo lara thinks that she is gonn have a baby (not actually) but i feel like it ....i gotta do X-mass shopping soo yeha dont know what to get for people yet....AHH I DONT WANT TO GET ANYTHIGN LOL(wow that was kinda weird lol) o0o and i got 2 posters at SPENCERS 1 is a bunch of mushrooms (mom hasnt said anythign yet about it) and the other is a sublime 1 and its cool they r both like fuzzy and glow in the black light thing.. i like him but i cant say...my mouth wont open up to the letters of your name.Why are you holding me shut...shut away from this world.i like you but nothing will ever come forth to this thought.i cant say anythign now but maybe when im strong enough i will tell you how i really feel. 7 comments|post comment

confused.... [05 Nov 2004|11:01pm] [ mood | thinking.... ] [ music | breaking benjamin "skin" ] I like him and i dont know what to do.....im confused lost in this mind of mine...im cutting your name into my legs so i can see your name in my own blood surrounding me.... i like you but itll never happen i like you and i hope i may get over that someday. yeah ok umm.,.,.,,.,., i just got back from the movies wiht Kendal,Mike,Jamie,Allie,Natosha and some other funny girl....yeha it was fun cuz we only saw bits and pieces of some movies lol such as The saw, Team America, and the grudge but yeah.... all those movies were funny lol and some were scary ass FUCK hahhaahahh but yeah umm i like him and i cant stop thinking about him!!!!AHHHHHH Well im goin to go moe the lawn mans and womans good bye gangsta for lyfe!!!!!peasce out my dawg. 3 comments|post comment

i stuck it deep ....in the clay( dont think anything else) [02 Nov 2004|08:13pm] [ mood | AHH GREEN FACE!!! ] [ music | PAPA ROACH.....(jamie singing the postal service) ] well i came back from orlando wiht lexi and it was soo much fun....Just getting away from boca was really nice and realaxing for both of us....well umm i found out HIS name and i hope who ever knows will never say anythign on who i like..... just came back from soccer and i HATE it cuz i think i just suck at it...o0o well!!! jamie is here adn were gonna go to the beach tomorrow before school which is around 7 cuz school starts at 10:30 soo yeah...she wants to go surfing...so i dont know yet.... yeah jamie is on my skateborad in my room and i hope she FALLS hahaha yeah....well umm jamie was dancing 80;s style and it started to scare me hahahaha and yes i do like duck tape lol..... UMM I WAS THE LAST ONE TO GET PICKED!!!!!!!!!! JAMIE TOLD ME TO SAY THAT SHE JUST HUNG TEN ON MY BOARD well i got to go yeah umm im bored soo leave sum sum...... I LOVE ?????????????????? im beggin you to be my ecscape..... 12 comments|post comment

Cant explain..... [24 Oct 2004|05:12pm] [ mood | fuck you!!!!!! ] [ music | Papa Roach "scars" ] ok well friday night i went to the dashboard concert it was reall good wiht lexi....it was fun fun but of course all the girls from our school were there and they all looked the same haha they did...... then of course the best day ever...cuz i dont really like Linkin Park anymore...their to COCKY they really are..... on saturday (yesterday) i went to the HALOWEENIE ROAST !!!!! wiht Nicole THASNK SOO MUCH FOR BRINGING ME I LOVE U SOOOO MUCH!!!!!! the bands that played were.. 1:Future leaders of the world ( which kinda suxed) 2:Skindred: which they kicked asss i love them too... 3:NONPOINT: HOLY SHIT nicole and i met the lead singer Elias holy shit he is soo fuckin hot wiht Dreds hahah we met him like soo many times REALLY!!!! 4:Shinedown: they were ok the whole time they were like u guys got souls and shit like that 5:Chevelle:they also kicked some ass...but they didnt have that much enery... 6:Collective soul: didnt really like... 7:saliva:they were realllly good.. 8: LAST cuz it was the best PAPA ROACH OMG i cant even explain it...the energy that they gave off was like a drug...really...it looked like they drank soo many of red bull adn snorted something haha... but they were just awesome..then before they got off they were singing the lead singer from NONPOINT came on and sang it wiht them..WoW they were sooo good i was like crying...and i dont want to seem like a "little girl at a nsync concert" but it was soo mcuh fun i loved it and nothign can compete with it.... I LOVED ALL THE SINGING adn that EVERYONE was smoking pot haha it was good..... yeah and i was in a moush pit lieka couple of times adn i got knocked over a couple of times but these people we met Chris ALex and Bridgete they were soo cool...but soo much older like 21 to like 28 soo yeah... but i told 1 guy alex that he was hot...lara would never say that to a guy straight up... but if it was Jacoby Shaddix (papa roach) then i would haha but other then that umm NO i wouldnt !!! Well i took soo many pictures and i might post them later if i know how or just come up to me and ask to see them....i was in the front row right like right behind liek 2 rows of people that werre just standing on their feet the whole time but we got to stand and sit on the benches soo i got back around 1:30 from the concert and i was there from 1 in the afternoon till about 1 at night lol it was worth it... then it rained soo many times and it was fuckin insane i would go again right now haha i wanted to go crowd surfering but I REALLY COULDNT liek literally hahah if u know what i mean,,, but the mousching (dont know how to spell) was sometimes kinda scary cuz they were big guys on drugz soo imagine what that is like and i was right next to it the whole time...but my friend Alex helped me up when i fell or pushed them away hah thanks Alex and ur HOT haha i told him to that he was HOT I HEART PAPA ROACH they were mind blowing...i cant even exlplain what it was like to see them....only basically Nicole knows what it was liek to see someone wiht all that energy and it felt like that were were like talking to me.....yeah right hah but my throat hurts from screaming and so does my neck from swingin it all over really...chris like another guy was liek dude did u snort some coke beofre u came here...adn i was like nahh i couldnt help it.. IM GOING TO THE WHITE HOUSE AND PAINTING IT BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what u think of that fuckers!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE GUYS WITH EYE LINER!!!!!!!!! i do like rock stars or anyone...but not like the whole eye shadow thing and shit like that juts eye liner WOW THEY ARE HOT and Jacoby had it on ant it was HOT as a muther fucker!!!!!!!!!!!!! well fuck u and bye!!!!!!!! 13 comments|post comment

AHHHHHHHHHHHH [21 Oct 2004|06:09pm] [ mood | alone..& peacefull ] [ music | Daft Punk "one more time" ] yeah ok well im bored so i decided to update......ummmmm yeah school isnt goin to good....but i like someone and i shall never tell......hahaha so dont ask!!!!!!!really.... I wanted to go to the Dashboard concert tomorrow night at FAU but my mom was like welll why dont u ride ur bike there...so i was like noo mad fuck that hahha......anywhooooo...... last night kendal slept over and we went to the rag shop and we bought shirts and tye die stuff and we strated tye dieing the shirts..i realllly liked kendals it looked SOO COOL haha.... BUT I CANT WAIT TILL HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS in right now 8 days WOOOOOO LEXI and I WOOOOO haha umm i got a detention today for chewing gum...come on isnt that soo FUCKED UP AHHH DAMM THAT TEAHCER..... I SHALL BURN HER HOUSE DOWN......AHHHHH well i wanna go to the HAlloweenie Roast on saturday soo i just gotta find a ride there haha but yea... well i am bored so here is a little sun sun for u..... I feel everything... I feel the pain in my heart.... i feel pain in my whole body.... i feel pain... i feel my eyes watering...and shuting away the world.... i feel my body dying on me... Why dont u ask my how i feel.... i feel like i failed to be here.... i feel hear people making fun of me...like its a fuckin joke or something....but do they realize that i fuckin feel IT.....!! i feel my mind shutting down on me... i feel my weight holding me back.... i feel soo alone no one to talk to.... well i guess what i feel....people dont care....but im used to it... of how gettng up in the morning thinking no one will feel for me... but i guess i just dont feel....or myself.... Lara well ummi know it SUXED haha but w/e i decided to post one of them...lol ok well adios... 9 comments|post comment

[16 Oct 2004|01:33pm] [ mood | im gonna go paint.. ] [ music | HIM "Gone With The Sin" ] Hey well... it hasnt been too good...but it was......Lexi and i went to the movies last night to see THE FORGOTTEN and it was good.....adn then after when we were wating for my mom we saw little like 12 year old ghetto kids aadn they were all gonna like rap...god dam ITS JUST A PHASE hahahha well for a couple of days lexia dn i went bike ridding for some exercise that i need hahah but it was fun fun....we went to the beach a lot soo SHE GOT TANNER Hahah BITCH hahah but yea..... soo today i decided to go wiht lexi too...go paint like tiles or liek other shit u like.....LIke anythign u can pick out and then paint....i did that a long time ago and i wanted to do it again.....so i decided to be very creative hahah but yeah..... well im goin to HAlloween Horror Nights Wiht lexi on the 29th till the 31 and right now that os 13 days away WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT but umm...dont really know what to say and i think i am getting the flu which suxs asss and my period at the same time AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH im gnna die.......... LITERALLLLY..............MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM (lexi)mmmmmmmm ME:what do u want to do todya lexi.... Lexi: i want to m...mmm.....mmmmmm....mmmmm.....mm Me:HAHAHAHHAHAHA OMG THAT WAS SOOO FUNNY the way u said that hahhaha Lexi:hahahhaa Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (wow that was our conversation which was soo funny) but yeah lexi just fell asleep on my bed and i am gonna go jumpp on her hahahha o0o and i wam gonan set up my HUGE HUGE trampoline after hahha which will be fun fun ok bye......... 9 comments|post comment

AHHHHHH [10 Oct 2004|05:10pm] [ mood | yeah..... ] [ music | Dashboard Confessional ] GOD DAMMIT.!!!!!!!!people really make me MAD...i just ask a quetion and their all like umm i dont know....when their BULLSHITTING EVERYTHING.....then they go o0o yeah well u insulted me when i didnt haha and why would why insult them....sometimes i dont understand people......so i really dont give a flying fuck....... anywasy more important and interseting stuff.....lexi slpet ove rthis whole weekend and it was fun..last night kendal and kelsey were here too and we watched a lot of movies...but it was FUN FUN haha umm 19 days till me and lexi go to Halloween Horror Nights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i went to the beach all day yesterday and today...... and u knwo what is soo annoying is when people r like omg did u go to the beach or something....... UMMMM NOO I DIDNT !!!!!!!!!!U THINK dumb assss hahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ummmmmm......i saw the movie Passion of the Christ and it is really goood..... RENEE...um RENEE...............wait RENEE hahaha that was funny lexi.....and also HI BIG Matt haha that was also fun fun....... OMG Everyone i have a new god His name is Stephen and he will marry me .....(but he just doesnt know it yet) hhaaha but he will want too.... and he is 19 and Ilexas friend on MySpace.com adn holy mother of goddd i LOVE HIM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahah ok post sum im bored..... i think i am gonan watch Havannah Nights again...i really like that movie!!!!!! and im confused...thst someone i used to or maybe still do like...and had feelings for just sent me a text message and i dont know how to respond to that...... 5 comments|post comment

[07 Oct 2004|06:39pm] [ mood | WoW haha ] [ music | Relient K "The one in waiting for" ] Hey ok well NOW it is CONFIRMEND that me and lexi r goin to Halloween Horror Nights from the 29-31 and were staying wiht my sis up there......WoW its goin to be AWESOME to the fullest......i really did want like kelsey and Kendal and JAMie to come but my sis think its too many people....adn lexi never went before.....but i reeallly hope that kendal comes up wiht her brother that weekend too...haha omg lexi were ghonna SHTI our panst there ahha................ anywasy more shit.....um i slept over jamies hosue last night and it was FUN FUN hha but yea it was.... but im glad tomorrow is Friday and lexi adn i might hang out.....umm i just went to target and got a new bookbag........(like i need any more) hahaha so i got my video camera from Turkey(my dad sent it( awesome adn its funny haha but yeah i showed some of my friends the drunken tapes we have wiht Jamie and Lexi and Kendalalala............ umm i HATE SCHOOL WIHT A PASSION OF CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT i like this guy in our school but NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!!!!!!!!!adn ill make sure of that haha ok ............yeah Kendal that "GUY" he is soo skinny and he seems like an asssss....or maybe just to me..........haha ok ADIOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!um SEX & DRUGZ hahha inside joke of me and jamie haha post comment

read [02 Oct 2004|07:50pm] ok well today was fun i slept over lexis house and last night we went to see shark tale.....which was ok....nothgin compaired to nemo haha ok welll....\ soo today i went to the beach wiht lexi and my sister....(deerfield) which was fun but then there wasnt really much sun......then we went to subway.......which was a bunch of dirty lawn people there which was kinda grossss......haha i went to go get a pedicure and then i went to bed bath and beyond....i got some new shit for my new bathroom haha ok yoo jamie tell ur mom i said A plus BITCH hahah o0o yeah and they r definitely a 2 on the scale hahah but yeah haha inside joke...... o0o and i saw kendalalalal at the movies last night wiht LAUREN which i hate cuz u knwo why she hates me for no apparent reason...which i dont give a shit about so yeah ......shes just a bitch that stereotypes which i dont give a shit about..... and right now i am reading my FAVORITE magazine STAR haha ok (just wanted to say that) ummm yeah soo leave sum sum im bored.........xoxo LARRY K 5 comments|post comment

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